Gypsy Creams

An internal deodorant?

Woman's Weekly / 19th July 1957

Regular readers may remember this Amplex advert, where I poo-pooed the idea of taking deodorant pills. Dear reader, I was WRONG, SO WRONG. I honestly can’t imagine how an internal deodorant would work, or how it wouldn’t wreak havoc inside the body. Also, check out the wording of an advert that was most likely written by men, for a product most likely developed by men…

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Jam Shambles on 22 December 2009 @ 9pm

Oh dear god! Thank god they’re tablets… I was imagining something much scarier!

Estelle on 22 December 2009 @ 9pm

Wow, I didn’t know your period gave you bad breath!

Tanya Jones on 22 December 2009 @ 11pm

Yeah…men certainly don’t understand this intimate problem, do they?

TheLeen on 23 December 2009 @ 11am

I had no idea I should worry about bad breath once a month? I will start with that now.
(At least there are pills that banish breath.)

It reads a bit like modern email spam, actually.

offensive_mango on 23 December 2009 @ 8pm

That smelly woman looks so glum. Cheer up, Stinky.

Estelle on 23 December 2009 @ 9pm

When I lived in America I was amazed at the amount of vaginal douches on display in shops, and the fact that most women seemed to use them as a matter of course, and you were odd if you didn’t use them. I hope it’s not that way now, they are so bad for you.

Dave on 24 December 2009 @ 8am

>(At least there are pills that banish breath.)

That sounds like a quote from a suicide letter.

Joey on 27 December 2009 @ 4pm

I’m with Jo on this, I thought it was something else! Not something that would ever tempt me.

Even going back to the douche comment, most ladies know that the vagina is self-cleansing, it’s like over-cleaning a wound if you like, you’re just going to invite infection/bad things.

Mags on 8 November 2014 @ 8pm

Still a regular product in Japan. I thought they were the worse-tasting breathe mints ever till someone explained you swallow them whole.

Erica on 14 October 2015 @ 5pm

I remember “internal deodorants” here in America, too! The “green pill” may well have been harmless chlorophyll, which is still sold in health food stores here. I have some liquid chlorophyll! It’s green! I have been carefully monitoring my internal gas production, but have yet to notice an odorific difference–although other “products” commonly produced take on a lovely daisy-green tinge.

As far as the time-tested “Make The Broads Paranoid About Everything” technique, well, enough said. A shower once a day during “that time” should nix whatever the hell is supposed to happen to you. Tooth hygiene, too–brush twice a day. NOW–on to the FILTH that is Womanhood at THAT TIME OF MONTH…!

I no longer do “that thing you do” at “that time”, but I used to make a habit of walking through crowds and watching for people’s reactions. Strangely, crowds didn’t part like the Red Sea when they smelled me walking by. I also sniffed, occasionally, to try to identify other ladies who may be “on the rag”. I never sussed anyone out. Products like this were lampooned regularly in my First-Wave Feminist childhood. We used to search old magazines for the ads and laugh at them. My mother, thank God, was not a doucher or a paranoid, and she passed that lovely trait onto me.

Oh, and PS:–I worked at a pharmacy for decades–we never sold ONE douche product. But, thanks to the filthy men in our lives, we sold a lot of Monistat!

Mags on 29 December 2015 @ 7pm

I think I bought some of these pills in Japan, mistaking them for ordinary breath mints. They weren’t Amplex but were all in Japanese and tasted utterly, incomprehensibly vile, earwax vile. Made for very weird burps.

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