Gypsy Creams
Mary Grant Talks About Men’s Weak Spots
Woman's Own / 21st March 1969
Well, men aren’t coming out of this set of letters very well, are they? Of course, we do have to read these letters with the understanding that leaving your husband in 1969 was a very different prospect to what it is today, although it’s interesting that the Divorce Reform Act was passed in the UK in 1969, which introduced ‘no fault’ divorces. The poor woman in the lead letter clearly seems to have a husband who cares more about his cock than his wife’s mental health, seeing as her first mental breakdown didn’t stop him straying again.
I do understand where Mary is coming from when she talks about creating a ‘new happiness’, but surely all we’ve really learnt about this man is that he’s a selfish idiot? Sadly, I think she’s trying to tell this woman that she’s better off trying to distract her reckless and selfish husband from having yet another affair, which I think is probably a recipe for another mental breakdown. I KNEW there was a reason why I get so irritated with commentators blethering on about the ‘sanctity’ of marriage: a marriage is meaningless without the commitment of both parties, and a marriage certificate doesn’t bestow either wisdom or maturity on the people involved. I do hope that poor woman managed to find some happiness, in any case.
It’s interesting to note the influence of the Divorce Reform Act on simply an ancedotal level: although my parents, married in 1971, weren’t exactly that forward-looking, they both considered an affair to be the end of a marriage, as it eroded trust. The eye-watering increase of divorces in the UK from 56,000 in 1969 to 125,000 by 1972 would suggest that my parents weren’t alone in their attitude, and that Mary’s advice was well-intentioned, but desperately out of date. Incidentally, the 2007 rate is actually the lowest since 1981, which may represent a more grown-up attitude to marriage amongst modern Brits. Well, we can hope!
Tags: blatant sexism, dodgy advice, Mary Grant, misplaced morality, problem page, social history
2 Comments
Tanya Jones on 30 November 2009 @ 4pm
Well, quite, but I suppose it depends on how you define a ‘wonderful husband’. I get the impression that there were still a lot of people back then who felt that a husband was doing quite enough to provide financially, and that emotional support was a luxury.
Dave on 30 November 2009 @ 9am
It is difficult to see how he can have “been a wonderful husband”